


Out of Place

by Kila9Nishika



Series: After the War [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Depression, Gen, Hannah Abbott is a healer, Harry has PTSD, Harry is depressed, Just because the war's over doesn't mean everything's okay, PTSD, Reference to Canonical Character Death, The not-Blacks-yet/anymore are a family, epilogue-what-epilogue, injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-31
Updated: 2012-12-31
Packaged: 2017-11-23 01:54:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/616771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kila9Nishika/pseuds/Kila9Nishika
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The war is over, and people are rebuilding their lives. To Andromeda Tonks, though, there is an island of loneliness inhabited by only herself, Teddy, and Harry Potter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Out of Place

When Andromeda Tonks opened her door to see Harry Potter standing on the doorstep, suitcase in one hand and broom in the other, she stared speechlessly for a moment.

"I broke up with Ginny," he said, but the combination of the rain sheeting down and soaking him and his posture and his phrase threw Andromeda back to that day she had visited the Potters after she had married Ted. _"I left Grimmauld Place,"_ Sirius had said; why did godfather and godson seem so familiar?

Andromeda wordlessly gestured for Harry to come in; he was her grandson's godfather, after all.

He disappeared and returned at odd intervals. Rather than return to Hogwarts for his final year, Harry had relentlessly begun cleaning Grimmauld Place. By hand. Andromeda had attempted to stop him, but it seemed to be a nervous habit; like when Sirius used to tap his wand, and change the color of whatever he was tapping. When queried on why he had not returned to Hogwarts, Harry had shrugged and mumbled something about money, gawkers, and goblins before retreating to his room.

Andromeda didn't enter Harry's room until nearly three months after he'd arrived; and was rather shocked to see the walls papered with photos. James and Lily Potter, Remus and Dora Lupin, Sirius Black; even Severus Snape had his picture on Harry's walls. Newspaper clippings were scattered between the photos as well; _"New potion modified for werewolf use by Severus Snape," "Sirius Black escapes from Azkaban!" "The deaths of the Potters," "Longbottoms tortured into insanity," "Albus Dumbledore discovers twelve uses for Dragons' Blood."_

Framed in the center of the wall facing the bed was a photograph of Neville Longbottom beheading You-Know-Who's snake, while Bellatrix Lestrange was killed in the background. Scrawled into the wooden picture frame was a phrase that chilled Andromeda to the bone. _"The Truest Hero."_

"He is the real hero." The hoarse voice that hadn't been heard in weeks made Andromeda jump as she turned to stare at the exhausted-looking teen. "He had a choice, to fight or not. He was strong, and made the choices of a hero."

Andromeda frowned, did he have no pride? "You were a hero, too, Harry. You fought with _Him_ , yourself."

Bitterness shone emerald from behind thick glasses, and Harry snorted. "I? I am no hero, Mrs. Tonks. A hero is someone who _chooses_ to fight. Neville is a hero. Remus – Remus was a hero, Tonks was a hero, _you_ are a hero. I had no choice. I fought because it was fight or fight, not fight or run. I am no hero at all." He left before Andromeda could reply.

Andromeda had never heard Harry laugh. Well – it was possible that she had, so long ago, at the beginning, when he had come to her house before You-Know-Who had been defeated, but she did not remember. When a strange sound came from the room in which Harry was watching Teddy, Andromeda had flown to the playroom door to see Teddy with a Pinocchio nose, and Harry laughing hoarsely with tears streaming down his face.

It wasn't right, Andromeda thought, that an eighteen year old boy could look so out of place merely laughing.

Andromeda woke from a dream about Sirius' chronic loneliness as a small child, and felt as if something was amiss. Leaving her bed, she slipped down the hall to Teddy's room. Pushing the door open a crack she saw Harry sitting the rocking chair, talking to the sleeping Teddy.

"…I feel so out of place, you know? Part of both wars, instead of one or the other. Part of this generation, and part of the dead generation. I felt more connected to Sirius than anyone in the world, and then he died! And then I had to just keep moving, and moving, and nobody seems to realize how hard it is to just breathe sometimes, and not throw myself from the windows and I – I want to be able to go to Gringotts again without fearing for my head, and go to Diagon Alley again without hiding from the crowds, go anywhere and not have people know my name! I sometimes think that Harry Potter really died that day and what is left? And empty shell? Your grandmother loves you Teddy-Bear, and you'll grow up happy and proud, instead of locked in a cupboard."

Harry lapsed into silence, and Andromeda drew away from the room in horror. Just what had happened to Harry during the war? Why had nobody noticed?

Unfortunately for Harry, neither Andromeda nor the two boys could stay cooped up inside forever. Eventually, Andromeda dragged Harry along to Diagon Alley after realizing that he hadn't been outside in nearly five months.

The fact that it took four goddamned Notice-Me-Not Charms to keep people from noticing Harry said quite a lot, Andromeda thought angrily. A commotion drew the eyes of most of Diagon Alley towards Gringotts. Biting back a savage remark as Harry walked smoothly in the direction of the upheaval; Andromeda leaned over and asked a nearby girl what the fuss was about.

The girl stared at her. "You haven't heard? Some idiot's been running around killing goblins. Popular opinion is that it's a former Death Eater."

Andromeda swallowed back a rather vulgar oath that she had learned from her daughter and fought back furious words. _Just like Sirius_ , she thought. _Sirius would have walked towards danger instead of away as well. But who does Teddy have besides you and me, Harry? Don't give yourself up just because you are attracted to danger!_

Andromeda drew closer to the crowd in an attempt to see what was going on, and got to the front just in time to see Harry fling himself in front of a curse meant for a goblin.

Everything stopped. Harry lifted his chin, drew in a rattling breath, and pointed both hands at the masked wizards.

_**RAW FIRE**_. That was the only way to describe the blazing blue-white heat that flooded down Harry's arms and collected around the attacking wizards. Andromeda tightened her hold on Teddy as the wizards attacking the goblins died in agony, and Harry fell to the ground.

The goblin Harry had saved shouted something in Gobbledegook before turning to Harry. His eyes asked a question, but a different goblin vocalized it.

"Why did you injure yourself to save the King of Goblins, Harry Potter? We are not currently on good terms with you, what worth is it to you?"

Harry smiled. "I have been told… many times over… that I am a strange wizard. Perhaps it is true. I hold no fear of injury, or death. While the goblins and I may share a difference of opinion; that does not lessen my respect for such an honorable people… It was… my hope that the theft of the Cup would be understood if I could have time… to explain… It was part of a Soul Anchoring Ritual, it was keeping Voldemort alive. I knew Voldemort would kill the goblin, so I hoped that fighting to destroy his could be forgiven…"

Harry's eyes slid shut for a moment; blood was pouring from his chest. Andromeda pushed and shoved at as many people as she could. _Dammit Harry_ , she thought ferociously, _you had best not die. You **better not even think** of dying._

The Goblin King laughed. "We, the goblins understand, Sky-Shaker Potter. We also respect your battle prowess, and advise that next time, you let us spill a little of our enemies' blood."

Harry nodded weakly, and suddenly convulsed, coughing. Blood spattered out of his mouth, and the silent crowd suddenly began to panic. Andromeda finally got to the front, and took charge. "Someone call St. Mungo's, this is an emergency! Does anyone here know Healing? Or perhaps curses, to tell me which one this is?" Andromeda had never thought that she would be berating herself for forgetting the Black Family Lessons on Curses, but she was now.

A blonde girl with a round face shoved people out of the way and knelt at Harry's side, drawing her wand. Andromeda vaguely recognized the girl – Michael Abbott's girl, wasn't she? – and she sighed with relief when the medics from St. Mungo's arrived.

"You had better live, Harry James Potter!" Andromeda barely the tears on her cheeks at that moment. "I swear, you had better live!"

As Andromeda stared down at the sleeping face of Harry Potter, she found herself pondering the ways of fate. Once, Harry Potter had merely been a name to her, but then he became something more, when Sirius escaped. There was brief resentment, over Dora's death, but Andromeda had known she was being foolish. After all, Harry had been a mess, at all of the funerals. She had been rather surprised that he could even seen out of those swollen eyes, but his miserable state had oddly appeased her soul more than anything else.

And now? Now Harry felt almost like a son of her own. She was the last of the True Blacks, as she very well knew, and Harry was the current Lord Black. Unless he married, his heir would most probably be Teddy.

Harry had another similarity to her – adulthood. All of his old friends had moved on, she knew. After all, they had managed to maintain their youth despite the war. Harry had never, as she'd often heard him say, "been young."

They both felt the same, Andromeda realized. A connection through Dora and Teddy and Remus, a connection through mental age, and a connection in the fact that for both of them, there was no First and Second War. There was just The War.

They both felt… out of place.

Harry's eyes fluttered open. They stared, unfocused, until Andromeda placed his glasses on his face. "Mrs. Tonks?"

Andromeda hesitated. "For all purposes," she said slowly, "You will be Teddy's father, and I, his grandmother. If… if you wish, you may call me Mum."

Harry stared, his mouth slightly open. Andromeda took a deep breath, feeling the need to explain.

"You and I, we share a kinship, do we not? Joined by the Marauders and by Dora and Teddy and V-Voldemort," she'd never said it before, "but still here, still living despite the generations gone and understanding what is missing."

Tears spilled down Harry's face as he cautiously sat up. He would need to be careful for the next year, and have checkups, but he would probably be fine. Reaching out, Harry pulled Andromeda into a hug.

"Thank you," he whispered, soaking her shoulder. "Thank you… Mum."

After all they were family. Three people, all out of place.


End file.
